high maintenance

"First of all, thank you very much for attending our training weekend. We hope you enjoyed it. We think you'll be excellent at the job."

"Well, pleasure. Thank you for asking me along."

"I've got some feedback for you."

At long last! I hold my breath in anticipation.

"Er, you do come across as somewhat eccentric..."

Gasp.

"... which we like. Eccentric is good, it means you have an interesting personality, you engage people, you can certainly hold their attention and they do remember you."

"Huh, well, I always aim to be a little different, you know, to surprise and amuse, and make an impression."

"That's good, that's very good. We like that."

Phew.

"And another thing that has been picked up. You are quite high maintenance, aren't you? Are you aware that you are being perceived as such?"

Double gasp, shortly followed by a sensation akin to someone attempting to knit a pair of socks with my insides at breakneck speed.

I whimper.

"You did send us that e-mail last week, we are trying to allocate assignments as quickly as we can you know..."

"Ah, that!" I exclaim, with relief. "Let me explain: for over a year, I have been yearning to go on those assignments and you know that I have done as many jobs for you as I could, no job too big, no job to small. I've always been there, even at the eleventh hour. Alas the work dried up over winter and I have recently been forced to take a non-descript desk job out of desperation, but my heart is still set on working for you and making a career out of being on the road, however I don't know if I can survive on hope alone, the hope of getting more assignments that may or may not come..."

Ensues long telephone disclaimer from her about how fantastic I am and how - regrettably - they cannot guarantee any assignments beyond the first one, blah, blah, blah... My head is a compote of 'perhaps', 'maybes' and 'ifs' served up by an arrogant and bossy interlocutor who tells me she understands I am after a change of lifestyle, seeing as I also applied to work alongside her in the office.

I refrain from launching into a woe, thrice woe, poor little me tirade and bite my lip so hard I can taste blood. I am not after charity. I am very good at what I do, I work very hard and by the way, she never had the courtesy of acknowledging receipt of my CV - instead, I found out about new appointments - none of which bearing my name - via the internal newsletter.

Inside, I am seething. How dare she call me high maintenance when all I did was write her to reassure the Company of my continued commitment and alert them to the fact that, unless they are prepared to use me extensively, availability may now be a problem? Can you call someone who has been living in precarious conditions for 5 months, putting up with consistent verbal and occasional physical abuse, surviving on one daily meal all in the name of remaining available for work with the Company 'high maintenance'?!

I am so busy chewing on my lower lip that I am speechless.

"We would like to offer you your first European assignment mid-March, we think it is well within your capabilities and that you are perfectly suited to it. You will receive an e-mail detailing your itinerary. Have a think about it and let us know. Goodbye."

I collapse to the floor, cradling my mobile phone in a mixture of anger, joy and panic.

The time has finally come.

Decision time.